Finding your way in life
by FictionGirl1996
Summary: Have you never known someone to be so lost that they don't know what's right and what is not? Bella suffers from inner demons and an eating disorder on the edge of taking her life. Edward is trying to move forward from his past. Can they find love?
1. Introduction

Prologue

My name is Bella Swan. I am twenty two years old and live in LA.I am currently suffering from slight depression and (apparently) an eating disorder, but who cares about that right? I am a fictional writer that has written a disappointing five books. My family are originally from Forks Washington, but my dad moved here after me and my brother when our mother abandoned us for our next door neighbour. I still find it unbelievable to believe that our mother moved here because to spend time with us, when really I think it was to find a romance. After five months of disappearing and secrets, she finally admitted to have been cheating on my dad with Phil from next door.

Even though, I was close to my dad, myself and my brother Jason had been inseparable growing up. He was three years older than me at twenty five years old, but he never let that come between us. He invited me everywhere with him when we were young and to be honest I loved it. When Renee left (my mom encase you are wondering) I became a shell in myself, only coming out of my room for dinner and to go to school. During this Jason always tried to cheer me up no matter how many times he failed- which was a lot.

My father Charlie tried to be there for us as much as he could, but he was the Chief of police and couldn't get away much. And Renee was always disappearing somewhere and if you did see her you should count yourself lucky because it didn't happen very often. At school I didn't have many friends because I was quiet. Jason always sat with me and I was content enough to not socialise with other people. Of course I got picked on from time to time- the names ranged from 'loner' to 'the lonely swan'. Basically that's how I met Alice, Rose and Angela; there families had just moved from different parts of America. Alice was from Ohio, Rose moved from New York and Angela from Arizona. We had met out on the playground and they stuck up for me when I was being bullied. And since we had met each other on the first day of the eight grade we have been inseparable. We had each others backs no matter what.


	2. Running away

BPOV

I was woken up today by a loud bang. A constant 'knock, knock, knock' kept pounding on my door over and over again. I reluctantly got out of bed and checked the time on my alarm…it read 7am. UGH! "ISABELLA MARIE SWAN, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND OPEN THIS DOOR PRONTO!" My best friend Alice bellowed. I pulled on a tank top and some jeans that I found on the floor and rushed downstairs. Checking my stomach first of course. I was just under 80 pounds and even though I wasn't happy with my weight, I lived with it and lost small amounts whenever I could. As I was about to reach out for the door handle, the door flies open sending me onto the floor. I looked up and regretted getting out of bed…

There looking down at me was Alice and my two other best friends Rose and Angela, with (to my displeasure) my dad and brother looking angrier than I have ever seen them before. "Why didn't you go to the hospital today? And why have you missed the last seven therapy appointments?" Charlie asked through gritted teeth. Ugh therapy, the one word that sucks more than homework. Sitting through a therapy appointment was as boring as watching a snail slide down the street." Because I don't need them?" I replied quietly even though it sounded more like a question. Charlie pinched his nose and said "Of course you need them Bells look at you, you are as thin as a stick and have dark circles under your eyes. When as the last time you slept properly and ate something?" Uh oh!

"Erm last night and yesterday for your information!" I shouted rather loudly. Charlie shared a look with my three best friends and they scurried out of the room too quickly for my liking. After and awkward silence between myself, Jason and Charlie, my friends came back looking horrified. Without saying a word Rosalie grabbed my arm and dragged me into my kitchen. I folded my arms against my chest and stayed silent, feeling pissed off that my 'family' were barging into my apartment like this. After a thorough look through my cabinets and fridge Angela broke the silence. "Bella what is wrong?" she asked sadly.

"What there is nothing wrong?" I replied proudly.

"Right that's it, I have had enough of this crap" stated Rosalie "you are moving in with me until you start admitting your problems and start eating and sleeping again!"

"And why would I want to do that?" I huffed. "Because you can't keep living like this! You don't eat or sleep and I haven't seen you leave this apartment for like to months. You smell horrific and your hair has more grease in it than a burger. Look I am not trying to be mean, but I am telling you the truth because I just want the old Bella back." Admitted Alice. "MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE! I AM HAPPY AS I AM AND I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO LIVE MY LIEFE, I AM AN ADULT FOR CHRIST SAKE!" I shrieked so loudly that all of the dogs in LA would be whimpering and covering their ears. "Well start acting like one then." My brother replied sarcastically. I flipped him the bird and then stormed out of my apartment to my garage. Inside held my baby- a white Mercedes Benz. Also in the garage were my blue BMW M6 Gran Coupé and my old red Chevy truck. However, since I was on the rampage I decided to not ruin any of my cars and Got in Jason's silver Audi S60. I then drove away and started planning the future.

Jason POV:

Ugh! I can't believe my little sister at the moment. She obviously hasn't been herself, but she won't let anyone help her. I really don't know what to do anymore and I don't think my dad does either. The look on his face when Bella stormed out was of pure sadness and guilt. There is only one person to blame for this shit and that is our poor excuse of a mother Renee. God I hate that woman! She has been sending us letters and emails for weeks, but I have only told my best friends Ben, Emmet and Jasper. Telling Bella sounded like a good idea a few days ago before she started getting worse, but it isn't going to happen now- not if I could help it.

I have known Ben, Emmet and Jasper since kindergarten. Me and Ben met on the first day when I shared my cookie with him because he was alone. After talking for a while and finding out that we both loved toy cars, we instantly became friends and sat next to each other for most of the day. It was Ben that first met Jasper. They were fighting over a shiny green truck that was the newest toy in the toy box. After finding out that they had the same interests- cars and history- they bonded and they introduced each other to their newest friends, myself and Emmet. Since that day we have always been close, as close as guys can be anyway without it looking disturbing. We all went to the same middle and high school and had most classes together, except I took music, Emmet took advanced physical Ed, Jasper took history and Ben took culinary skills. The reason that I only told them about the letters and emails was because I knew they would tell me exactly what they thought and they always had my back.

In our group Emmet was the biggest guy out of all of us-muscles not fat- standing at 6'4" and weighing at around 290 pounds he could scare any guy of with one of his trademark scowls. He had brown curly hair, green eyes and a set of dimples that can make most girls fall in love with him. Jasper was 200 pounds and exactly six foot tall. He had long blond shaggy hair and brown eyes. He had muscles, but wasn't as 'ripped' as Emmet. Ben was the smallest out of us at 5'9 and 190 pounds. He had short black hair styled with a flick at the front and he was naturally tanned, with hazel coloured eyes. I had the same hairstyle as Ben, but my hair was brown. And I had blue eyes and stood at 6'1", weighing 220 pounds. My best friends had many great qualities, but the best one in my opinion is that they were fiercely protective of my little sister. They all loved her and always wanted her to play some sort of sport or video game with them, even though she was small she could whoop their asses at most of their video games. Despite the fact that Bella loved reading, writing and running, she also could waste the day away playing a video game. Luckily for us one of her best friends Rosalie was Jaspers sister, which meant that we knew that at least one person was looking out for her constantly, though that didn't mean that Angela and Alice didn't either.

Back to today. Knowing I had to go to work sometime I said my goodbyes and headed out to the door. As soon as I stepped out of the door I realised that my car was not there, so I hurried into the house to talk to my dad. I found the man in question in my sister's living room watching sports centre, no surprises there, whilst the girls chatted loudly around him. "Have you seen my car dad?" I asked suspiciously. "Nope son I haven't seen it since I got here this morning." He replied looking confused.

"Well it's no there and I need to get to work, do you have any idea who took it?" After thinking for it for a while and a creased formed on his forehead, a light bulb must have formed in his head because he turned to me and asked "What member of our family is not herself and has just stormed out of her house leaving her car keys behind?"

"Bella" I replied angrily.

"Correct, don't me hard on her son and needs looking after for a while, shouting at her isn't going to help."

"I will do more than shout." I snarled. "No you won't, leave her be. C'mon I will take you in the cruiser." He replied trying to make peace between me and Bella.

With a quick goodbye and wave to the girl we all headed for our cars. Knowing I had no other choice to take his offer I accepted and unsurprisingly saw all of Bella's cars in the garage. We stayed quiet in the car only making polite chit chat. As soon as my dad stopped the car I had my seatbelt off and slammed the car door. I changed into a black suit with a blue striped tie and finished my look with a pair of black dress shoes. Within minutes I was seated back in the front of Charlie's police cruiser wondering what was going to happen in the day ahead.


	3. Discovery

BPOV

I drove and drove for what seemed like hours and still didn't have a clue were I was going or what I was going to do. Driving down the free-way seemed to be easy. Suddenly, a car swerved in my direction at a ridiculously fast speed. I managed to narrowly avoid hit being hit and carried on driving. After ten minutes of driving I could feel something cold running down my arm. It was blood. I pulled over into the hard shoulder at the side of the road and assessed the damage; there on my arm about two or three inches long, was a cut that made me look like a self harmer. In an act of idiocy I wanted to test that theory out more (I don't know why) I grabbed my brother's car keys out of the ignition and dragged the key along the same arm parallel to the other one. I found it strange that the pain made me feel better. Wiping away the blood I felt a feeling of pure satisfaction. The word blood creeps me out. What sort of word is that for a bodily fluid? In fact, the word itself practically tells you that you are going to be disgusted and revolted by it. Not wanting to think about it any more I carried on driving. Despite the fact that nothing was wrong with me, I started to feel faint. As the seconds passed I felt my eyes begin to get heavy and start to close. Fighting the close my eyes I carried on driving. My vision started to blur so I used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes, then spotting a car coming towards me at a rapid pace…Unfortunately, the car hit the side of my car, causing me to fly of the road. After the car rolled several times it was eventually stopped by a large oak tree.I didn't expect the car to turn upside down from the accident.

I became dizzy and light headed until darkness overcame me...

CH POV

After another failed attempt to save my daughter I returned back to the office."Any look?" asked a voice I would never fail to recognise. I span around to see my best friend of twenty years,Billy Black."Nope." I sighed. I walked over to the office fridge and grabbed a Cola. " I just don't know what to do anymore, every time we try and help her she pushes us away and gets herself into more trouble. I caught her smoking a joint last say that Billy was shocked would have been an understatement. He cared for her like she was his own daughter and i knew he hated this just as much as everyone that knew and loved her did. "Maybe we should hold an intervention." Suggested Billy. "Yeah, that's a good idea actually. We will have to do it tonight because this shit is not getting any better." I agreed. "Tonight at eight at my house." I told him. "And how are you going to get her to go to that?" asked Billy. "I will drag her there if I have too,this crap ends now." I decided that if Bella was going to get better then something drastic was going to have to be done. Sighing I said goodbye to Billy and walked down to my office to do some more boring ass paperwork. At eleven I got a strange phone call. "Hello sir" a man asked "Hi this is the Chief of police speaking, how can I help you?" " Hello my name is Dr Carlisle Cullen and I am phoning about your daughter Isabella." Oh what has she done now! He continued "She has been bought into Sunrise hospital here in LA, and we need you to come down here immediately." A million thoughts ere rushing around in my head; is she okay? Did she put someone in hospital? "Okay Dr I am on my way." I replied quickly. I ran out of my office as fast as my old legs could take me and told Andy (my second in command), that i was needed at the hospital. After we agreed that I needed to go-which took longer than I thought it would- and rushed out to my car and sped to the hospital.

It only took me ten minutes to get to the hospital and every passing second was making me more nervous. I knew that something had happened to Bella, I just didn't know what yet. Wanting to find out and see my daughter I burst the doors open and walked straight up to the reception receptionist was around Bella's age and seemed to have no interest in anything except the computer keyboard in front of her, as she vigorously typed on the keyboard. The woman sat in front of me had straight blond hair and was wearing a lot of fake tan. She was wearing clothes that look like they should be given to a seven year old, with her boobs almost hanging out of her tank top. "Excuse me I am here to see Dr Cullen about my daughter Isabella." I asked as she blew a bubble in the bubble gum she was chewing. She stayed silent. Obviously blatantly ignoring me or what I asked. Luckily for me Carlisle Cullen rounded the corner before I asked her again and stuck his hand out for me to shake. "Hello Charlie it's good to meet you, I just which it was under better circumstances" he offered. "So exactly what has happened then?" I asked wearily. "Isabella was brought here just under two hours ago from a car crash" my heart stopped immediately. "It seems that she swerved another driver causing the car to flip and roll on its side. We also believe that the car was stopped by a tree at the bottom of a hill. I am afraid the driver as drunk" he finished. One word popped into my head at that very moment 'DUI'. "So what is the damage to my daughter. He sighed and I knew then and there that It wasn't good. "Bella has broken two ribs, a punctured lung which is likely to have been caused by her ribs and seatbelt, she has swelling on her brain which has caused her to be in a medically induced coma and a broken leg. We also found to cuts to her left arm which we thing are self induced and she is severely dehydrated and underweight." I knew it!. Why didn't she tell us." I want to see her" I demanded. "she is just getting finished in surgery and then we will get her settled in a room paid by the hospital" he told me "Once we get her settled I promise you can see her straight away." He finished.


	4. Brought up to speed

Before Dr Cullen came back to let me see Bella, I phoned Jason to let him and everyone else know what is happening.

Jason POV:

When I left for my lunch break I left my Iphone on my desk and hadn't realised that I had several missed calls from my dad. I quickly picked it up and dialled my dad's number.

I knew something was wrong because my dad never calls me more than once. In fact, he hardly phones my cell. After a few rings he picked up the phone, sounding distraught."Dad what's wrong?" I asked impatiently.  
"Its Bella" he replied unhappily. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. Even though I didn't expect the worse, I still wasn't sure that I wanted to know what was wrong.

There was a minutes awkward silence before he began again."She has been in an accident son." He sniffed."Can you phone Alice and everyone and come to the hospital please." He nearly begged."Sure dad, I'm on my way."I told him quickly. I quickly hung up the phone and phoned Alice. She was always the person to call in a emergency, because she could do things and gather loads of people together easily without having to stop to take a breath. Everyone usually phoned Alice for help (except Bella) because she usually knew what to do.

"Hello what's wrong Jason." Alice questioned.  
"Bella's in hospital"  
"WHAT!WHY?" she shrieked so loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear.  
"I don't know what's wrong,but my dad sounded pretty upset so could you get yourself and everyone else to the hospital as soon as possible." Alice agreed immediately and hung wanting to wait any longer I rushed into my boss's office and explained the situation to him. I had told him briefly about Bella a few times- he always seemed to be interested, but not in a pervy way-so he understood and let me go.

I sprinted to my car and jumped into the front seat. I turned the key in the ignition and sped away towards the hospital.

Alice POV

I put my Blackberry on my desk and subconsciously put the back of my hand on my forehead. I wasn't shocked, I was disappointed. In fact, i had a feeling something bad was going to happen soon. I mean just looking at Bella tells you something is wrong. She is paler and clumsier than normal, She has massive bags under her eyes that look almost purple, and she has lost at least thirty pounds.

I will admit that I haven't always known about Bella's weight loss...I was the first one to find out was hard to tell at first because Bella always wears baggy clothes. Always wearing simple clothes- a plain (much too big for her) t-shirt, jeans and converse-UGH! I swear that girl has no style. I always have to drag her to go shopping with me or even wear something that brings out her beauty. Bella is definatley a pretty girl,but she seems to be the only one that can't see it. It was no coincidence that more and more students would appear to any concert that Bella would take part would have never had guessed would you? Bella is a singer. Well, I saw is it is more like was as she hasn't sung since freshman year of college. And it was a shame really because she had a beautiful voice. Even though Bella got bullied for most of her life everyone loved her voice and it was the only thing she didn't get teased about.

Anyway, back to her weight...

**Flash****back:**

_3 years earlier_

_It was just another day of school. We were sat in our English class, Bella listened intently and I __was beyond bored. I have always found the obsession Bella had with English and literature quite odd. Unfortunately for me I had nobody to talk to because there was no way you could talk to Bella during English. She loves English and I love shopping. Angela and Rose avoided English at all costs; both taking social studies instead. Lucky bitches! I don't know why I took English to be honest. I can't convince myself that I did it because I wanted to study English because I know that was absolutely not the reason, I think it was __because I had no other subject to choose from and I thought it would be good to be with Bella. Boy was I wrong! All we ever do is read/talk about books and write essays. No way is that my ideal of fun. 'What is?' I hear you OF COURSE!Ooh that reminds me of my idea I remembered in my head._

_I turned to the back of my notepad and ripped a full page out. I quickly wrote a message to Bella asking her to text me and poked her in the back with my index finger. She turned her body sightly around and I could have sworn I could see her hand give me a glare- see what I mean?- and yanked the paper out of my hand whilst turning around quickly. It took her a minute to read my note before I could see her pulling out her cell phone. Seconds later my cell phone chirped,indicating that I have a message. I pulled it out of my pocket and read my new text message discreetly._

_'What's wrong?' It read.  
' Do you wanna go shopping after skl.' I typed back quickly  
I received my next message quicker than normal.' I dunno I have 2 cook tea tonite'  
'Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeee Beeeeellllaaaaa'  
'Fine, but I dont hav long' Bella replied._

_I mentally tapped myself of the back because Bella going shopping didn't happen very often or very easily. Come to think of it Bella has been acting really strangely lately; She never takes of her hoodie or jumper if she has one on, she has started to shake and she never gets more than a kids size portion of food from the cafeteria. Everybody knows that the food there is disgusting, but it is edible for people to put up with. I made a mental note in my head to confront bella later._

_Two hours later:_

_Me,Rose, Angela and Bella were heading to the mall in Bella's crappy truck. It was from the nineties or something and Bella insisted that it was an antique- Yeah an antique piece of rubbish. Despite the fact that it is old, Bella seems to love it and nobody wants to spoil that for her. Us girls have always found it quite hard to cheer Bella up. She had a crappy childhood with her worthless mother and her grandparents dying in front of her. Whereas Bella's childhood was disappointing and devastating, I had quite a good childhood, although we always moved a lot I came from quite a wealthy family, my dad is a lawyer and my mother is the head of CCTV in the Police. We all piled into the truck and started our journey. I choose the front seat and i could blatantly see Bella's hand shaking slightly from where it was perched on the steering wheel. I coyly turned my head around to the back seat and spotted Rose looking at me worriedly I give her a slight nod to inform her that i understood and quickly turned around before Bella could see me._

_Today was just an average day that you want to spend with your friends: a friday. Bella parked her truck in the parking lot to the left of the mall, which meant that we could get to it easier and put all of our bags in quicker. We headed into several shops before i remembered the main purpose of our visit.  
"Omg, we have to get Bikinis for Saturday!" I squealed excitedly. I had invited my three best friends round to my house for a sleepover and was determined to get everyone into the pool that was recently made at my house. "Do we have to?" Bella moaned. I give her the look that told her it would be easier to agree and she instantly stopped moaning. I mean, who can resist the pixie way? Angela and Rose were talking excitedly about what they want to do at my house whilst me and Bella walked into 'Summer Zone' silently. There was one thing that Bella hated more than shopping and that was relaxing in a pool. Unbeknown to me because Bella is one of the best swimmers I know. As soon as I spotted the sign for the store I hurriedly ran inside, Rose and Angela following quickly as Bella followed nervously.  
_

_I danced around the store picking up many bikinis than you could ever want. After handing over half of the bikinis to Bella I pushed her into a changing room and rushed into an empty one. I tried on several bikinis before i found the perfect one. It was candy pink and had white love hearts all over it. I was pulling my jeans back up my legs went I heard a loud bang comming from the other side of the wall. I hurriedly grabbed my stuff and the few bikinis I was going to purchase and scurried out of the dressing room. I realised that the noise had come from Bella's dressing room so I pulled the dressing room to the side and gasped. On the floor in front of me was Bella rubbing her arm repeatedly. I could already see a large bruise forming, out of the corning of my eye I noticed that Bella had chosen one of the bikinis I had picked for her. It was blue and white striped. I have to say that Bella looked great in the choice of swimwear,but as i scanned my eyes over her body I noticed her stomach was alarmingly flatter. "Erm Bella what happened to your slightly round belly?" I asked suspiciously. We had always joked that Bella has never had a flat stomach because she can't seem to get rid of it. She has tried the gym ad sit ups and nothing seems to happen,which makes me more curious and determined to find out what was going on."Nothing, I have just being doing exercise more often." Replied Bella trying to wave it off. I opened my mouth to question her when Rose and Angela barged in. "We have got a bikini can we go to another store now i have to go soo...What happened to your stomach Bells?" Rose asked curiously as Angela stared waiting for the answer. "Nothing just exercise " huffed Bella "Can you get out now I have to change?" We all nodded and let Bella get changed. However, we all silently agreed that we were not going to let this drop._

_We were going to find out what was wrong regardless of how long it took!_

**End of flashback**

I Sighed and stared into space for a second, allowing my thoughts to take over me. Pulling myself together I grabbed my phone, keys and purse and left a note on my assistants desk telling her I have had a family emergency. Everyone knew that Rose, Angie and Bells were like my sisters and nobody would dare question it: thanks to my glare, Rosalie's bitchiness, Bella's sweetness and the fact that Angela does Karate and marshal arts. I quickly texted Rose and Angela to get to the hospital pronto and they quickly texted back that they were on their way. It was easy for us to leave work because we all were our own bosses: I ran a fashion company called 'Pixie's Perfection, Rose had a mechanic business and Angela taught little kids martial arts.I ran to my car ( faster than I have run in years) and climbed into my car. I drive a white Porch 911 Turbo and I loved my car almost as much as my Fiance Jasper.

Me and Jasper met through Bella's Brother Jason as they are best friends. We clicked instantly and have never looked back since,although i always think something bad is going to happen because our personalities are so different. I was bubbly and cheery all the time,whereas Jasper was quite and reserved. Even though we are quite different I knew that he loves me as much as I love him and that is all I have ever wanted in a guy. The first time I heard his southern Texas accent and looked into his shiny blue eyes I knew I had found the one.

Ten minutes. It only took me ten minutes to get into the hospital parking lot. As I was getting out my car I spotted Rose's dark blue Lexus and Angelas red Ford Focus, a few spaces away from me. This only meant one thing- Everybody was already here. I scurried though the hospital doors and asked the woman at the reception desk where Isabella Swan was. "ICU room 283" she told me uninterested. I muttered a quick thanks before I followed the signs to the direction i was pointed to. Sat in the waiting room was Charlie,Jason,Jasper,Rosalie and Angela. I entered through the waiting room doors and went directly to Jasper."What happened Charlie?" I inquired.  
"She was in a Car accident." Charlie replied sadly  
"Do we know what is wrong with her." Charlie repeated everything to us that Dr Cullen had told him. For the next hour we waited and waited until we heard some news.

An hour and a half later:

Charlie POV:

Waiting. The one word me and most of the world population hated. It could only be described in one word. BORING. I have been staring at same wall for nearly an hour. If the doctor doesn't come out soon I would pull my hair out.

Dr Cullen appeared out of a private room and walked casually down to where we were sitting. _This is it_.I thought to myself."Charlie, if you still want to you can go and visit Bella now. However, I suggest that you all go in a couple at a time and be as quiet as you can. I am afraid that Bella is hooked up to Many machines including a ventilator." he explained. I gave him a slight nod a sign to Jason to Follow us, and we headed to Bella's room.

As we walked into the room i couldn't help, but gasp. There lying in front of me was my Baby girl. She was surrounded by wires and tubes and looked broken and battered. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I walked over to the bed, that my daughter was unconscious on. I sat down on the chair next to her bed and kissed the back of her hand.

Me and Jason stayed in her room for what felt like hours before I kissed the top of her head and walked silently out of her room.

**Tuesday**

**Wednesday**

**Thursday**

**Friday Afternoon:**

I had just had a twelve hour shift at the office before i could return to the hospital. As i expected nobody else was here. It was almost ten. I noticed in Bella's room there was lots of cards and i walked over to her bed i notice her eyes move slightly.I picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. Seconds later her eyes fluttered open and My daughters big brown eyes were staring back at me.


End file.
